Tag Archives: blogging

Pandora’s Box

Spouse got a Twitter account.

I don’t know what it is and I won’t be looking for it or following, but it made my corner of the Internet feel a little smaller anyway. As though there’s suddenly a risk that he’ll stumble across my Twitter and click over here, if only just to peek. If you’re thinking Twitter is a huge community and odds are low, I should add that Spouse has already mentioned following an account I followed.

It’s hard to articulate why this bothers me. It’s personal, what I write here, but not precisely secretive. He knows I blog and tweet about sex. It’s not as though I have secret partners or use this space to cast Spouse in a negative light. In fact, I rarely write about Spouse at all (this is because he’s a fairly private person. He dislikes being tagged when I check in places on Facebook; I don’t think he’d like it if our intimacy were just out there on the Internet for anyone to read).

Partly it is the intimacy. None of my partners reads this. None of them gets that glimpse into what goes through my head when we fuck, or the raw detail of what I do with the others. None of them reads this, so I can write without worrying what they’ll think, without feeling I need to censor myself or owe them an explanation. I can process and articulate ideas based on conversations we’ve had, or use the act of writing to begin articulating for conversations I’d like to have. I don’t have to worry anyone will think I’m using the blog to be passive aggressive with them.

I’m fairly certain Spouse respects this. He also writes about sex on the Internet and would prefer that I not seek out his space for slightly different reasons than mine. I’m not tempted to look for it, but that’s at least partly because the niche he’s writing in holds no interest for me at all. If it were more of a journal, if it were personal thoughts on kink and gender, and his perspectives on sexual experiences, would I be tempted? I don’t know.

It’s a Pandora’s Box situation. Spouse and my other partners know I write about sex on the Internet, but not where. If I told them, or they stumbled across it, would they be able to resist looking inside? Would it even be reasonable to ask them to?

For the Crockery

It’s Twitter’s fault.

There are lists that pop up across the Internet every now and then, things like the Year’s Best Sex Bloggers or Top 100 Sex Blogs or Hottest Blogs on the Internet and such. And a few of us have noticed something all these lists have in common: we aren’t on them.

Girl on the Net said what apparently many of us (as mature, sensible adults) feel about this: “Every now and then someone does a list of “hottest blogs” and I’m not on it and then I have to smash all the crockery and buy new crockery.”


O Miss Pearl then did an awesome thing. She called for peer nominations, pulled things together, and in a few short days, put together this list of “10 Smart Blogs You Shouldn’t Forget (and Why)

This list is great. First of all, I’m on it. Someone must’ve let slip that I have a lovely old tea set that would be in serious peril if I were to find I’d been left off another list. My crockery and I both thank Miss Pearl for the inclusion. Second, because some of my favorite fellow bloggers are included, and that’s happy-making. Third, because I found a few new shiny people to stalk follow whom I might never have seen without this list. So really, go check it out.

Miss Pearl’s list does have one glaring omission, though. See, her blog’s not on it. And maybe it’d be a little redundant to tell her own readers that her blog is fan-freaking-tastic and often overlooked; they’re already there, after all. And maybe it’d feel a bit proud and self-serving to add oneself to one’s own list. But neither of those barriers applies to me, so I’m proposing an addition: read O Miss Pearl. Because 33 things every submissive man should know really ought to be required reading. Because the erotic writing is hot. Because this is the blog of a person whose response to the rest of us pouting about never being on lists even though we are special damnit was to go forth and make us a list.

So go forth, learn about the10 Smart Blogs You Shouldn’t Forget, and remember to add Miss Pearl to it.

This has been a post including shameless self-promotion. I would apologize, but that would detract from the shamelessness.