Room for Improvement 

I’m pretty sure I’m not good at sucking cock.

It’s a shame. I love doing it. I’m greedy for it, even. With my latest partner (this boy who is definitely not a virgin anymore and probably needs a nickname here since I keep fucking him), I try to get him off with my mouth every time we get together. He says it feels incredible. He says it’s a mental block, not anything I’m doing. Whatever the reason, I can’t make him come.

He’s not the first. The person I was married to was more blunt (“your mouth doesn’t feel good. Stop trying.”) Another partner more jovially says that there are other ways he’d rather come anyway. One blamed the size of his cock (I have small mouth. Had-to-have-permanent-teeth-removed-because-they-didn’t-fit-in-my-jaw small.) Another said he’d just never been able to get into getting head. And most of the rest have come, and seemed to enjoy it. (I’m not secretly a lamprey or anything; it’s not that bad…I hope.)

And maybe blowjobs aren’t everyone’s thing and that’s fine. I’m not going to push or pout if someone doesn’t want it. It’s when they say they do want it… it’s when I definitely want it… and we can’t quite get what we want out of it. It’s both of us feeling guilty about substandard performance and cementing another layer on top of our walls of performance anxiety. Because no way that makes anything more difficult.

I’m not going to fall apart, start rending my garments or gnashing my teeth (well, maybe garment-rending, if someone asks nicely). My ego can handle my being less than awesome at sucking cock…mostly. But it’s been enough now that I don’t quite trust “it’s not you, it’s me,” and I’m not sure what to do about that.

Just practice, I guess.

2 thoughts on “Room for Improvement ”

  1. I promise it has more to do with technique than mouth size. It took me a lot of practice too (I also have a small jaw, though not quite as small as yours). Funnily enough, it was after I took singing lessons that I became really good at blowjobs. I started becoming a pro at deepthroat, using techniques I had learned in my singing lessons, lol.

    I also love giving bjs, so the singing lessons were very, very helpful (and good practice).

  2. I love giving head, too, but they never seem to come that way… (though my partners certainly let me spend some time trying!)… but only now did I consider that I might be so great at it! Now I must gather some data and feedback! lol

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